Yesses And Nos

I know I haven't posted in a long time, so thats exactly what I'm doing. I don't feel like posting anything real, though, so here's one of those dumb survey things from FaceBook.

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- and believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming nothing is exactly as it seems.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do. . . Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you'd like to.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? Yes

Been arrested? No

Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes

Slept in until 5 PM? Yes

Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes

Held a snake? Yes

Ran a red light? Yes

Been suspended from school? No

Experienced love at first sight? No

Totaled your car in an accident? Yes

Been fired from a job? Yes

Fired somebody? No

Sang karaoke? Yes

Pointed a gun at someone? No

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes

Kissed in the rain? Yes

Had a close brush with death (your own)? No

Seen someone die? Yes

Played spin-the-bottle? Yes

Sang in the shower? Yes

Smoked a cigar? Yes

Sat on a rooftop? Yes

Taken pictures of yourself? Yes

Smuggled something into another country? No

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? No

Broken a bone? Yes

Skipped school? Yes

Eaten a bug? Yes

Sleepwalked? Yes

Walked a moonlit beach? Yes

Rode a motorcycle? Yes

Dumped someone? No

Forgotten your anniversary? No

Lied to avoid a ticket? No

Ridden on a helicopter? No

Shaved your head? No

Blacked out from drinking? No

Played a prank on someone? Yes

Hit a home run? No

Felt like killing someone? Yes

Cross-dressed? No

Been falling-down drunk? Yes

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes

Eaten snake? No

Marched/Protested? Yes

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No

Puked on amusement ride? No

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? Yes

Been in a band? No

Knitted? Yes

Been on TV? Yes

Shot a gun? Yes

Skinny-dipped? Yes

Been in a fist fight? No

Eaten a whole habenero pepper? No

Ridden a surfboard? No

Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Yes

Had surgery? Yes

Streaked? Yes

Taken by ambulance to hospital? No

Passed out when not drinking? Yes

Peed on a bush? Yes

Donated Blood? Yes

Grabbed electric fence? Yes

Eaten alligator meat? No

Eaten cheesecake? Yes

Eaten your kids/siblings Halloween candy? Yes

Killed an animal when not hunting? Yes

Peed your pants in public? Yes

Snuck into a movie without paying? Yes

Written graffiti? No

Still love someone you shouldn't? Yes

Think about the future? Yes

Been in handcuffs? Yes

Believe in love? Yes

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes

Open-Ended Questions

Hi, my name is:
Emily

Never in my life have I been:
arrested. I've been transported in the back of a police car, but I wasn't technically arrested.

The one person who can drive me nuts is:
the same person who gives me everything, makes me laugh the hardest, and teaches me the most.

“High school:
is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless.” (John Mayer)

When I’m nervous:
I chew the cuticles on my thumbs. When I run out of thumb cuticle, I move on to my fingers. It's gross, really.

The last song I listened to was:
“Second Born” by Third Eye Blind

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor:
would wear a dress that doesn't suck.

My hair is:
dirty.

When I was 5:
my favorite outfit was a pair of white overall shorts with a bright colored fruit pattern on them, an orange shirt, and pink socks.

Last Christmas:
I ate all the potato salad.

I should be:
in bed, but I'm sitting on the floor. Now my butt is numb.

When I look down I see:
a buffalo.

The happiest recent event was:
booking a plane ticket to get out of here for a week.

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be:
Ms. Chanandler Bong.

By this time next year:
I'll be a year older than I am now.

My current gripe is:
I'm only tired when I shouldn't be sleeping.

I have a hard time understanding:
why I have to call Jack Malone every time I talk to a semi-promising guy.

There’s this girl I know that:
will always feel a little bit guilty that she was such a whore her sophomore year in college, and now has to live with that mistake for the rest of her life while trying to convince herself that she made the right decision.

You know I like you when:
I make fun of you, or your dog, or your job, or your clothes, or your grammar.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be:
my seester.

Take my advice:
and DO NOT ever put your keys on top of the toilet tank.

The thing I want to buy:
tickets to a concert that hasn't been announced yet.

If you visited the place I was born:
you would be surprised to know that people in that city actually shave their legs, eat junk food, and wear shoes other than Birkenstocks or Crocs (sometimes).

I plan to visit:
my seester soon.

If you spent the night at my house:
we could share a bed, but only if you promise not to stink up the room like the last houseguest did ;)

I’d stop my wedding if:
Chuck Bass stood up and objected right before "or forever hold your peace."

The world could do without:
Utah. Seriously, I wouldn't even miss it.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself:
some crappy stuff I'm planning on taking back to Sephora.

Most recent thing someone else made me:
a drawing of a deformed ballerina-- "I didn't even trace it, that's how good of a drawer I am."

Out of my friends, My favorite blonde is:
Leah Jean was pretty awesome as a blonde, but she's a hotter brunette. I'm going to have to go with Holly.

My favorite red head is:
6'6"

My favorite black hair is:
the one that is not in my salad.

My middle name is:
three letters long and boring.

In the morning I:
either sleep, or wish I was asleep.

Once, at a bar:
I saw Efram Zimbalist III, and an Aryan.

Last night I was:
doing the same thing I'm doing tonight.

There’s this guy I know who:
functions as a commercial paint sprayer.

If I was an animal I’d be:
a buffalo.

A better name for me would be:
Associate Professor Madame Captain Emily Cooley, PhD, CPA, MD, NASTAT, CPhys, IIA, Esq

Tomorrow I am:
simultaneously judging and playing in a magnetic darts tournament.

Tonight I am:
eating Girl Scout cookies for dinner.

My birthday is:
depending on how you count it-
either 45 days, 1091 hours, 65510 minutes, or 3930651 seconds from now.

50 things you didn't know about me until you read this...

1. What color is your tooth brush? Dark blue and white.

2. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Watching something lame on TV.

3. What is your favorite candy bar? I'm not really a 'bar' person... I like Jr. Mints better.

4. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes.

5. What is the last thing you said aloud? "C'mon girls, lets go to bed." [to the dogs]

6. What is the best ice cream flavor? Currently it's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch

7. What is the last thing you had to drink? Diet Coke.

8. What are you wearing right now? Pants that say "Shake your coconuts" on them, a fleece nightshirt with cartoon bunnies riding snowboards, pink and blue striped knee socks, and slippers. It's quite the ensemble, I know.

9. What was the last thing you ate? Strawberry and Cream Cheese Toaster Strudel.

10. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Yes, a couple of pink things from Victoria's Secret.
11. When was the last time you ran? I only run when I'm being chased.

12. Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on your blog? Heather!

13. Do you take vitamins daily? No

14. Do you go to church every Sunday? No

15. Do you have a tan? When I try to (not currently).

16. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? Absofreakinlutely.

17. Do you drink soda with a straw? It tastes better that way.

18. What does your last text message say? RECEIVED: Ok. Lol. SENT: She can be your sugar mama.

19. Are you someones best friend? I would hope so.

20. What are you doing tomorrow? Sleeping, shopping, showering, partying.

21. Where is your dad? I assume he is in his bed/chair.

22. Look to your left, what do you see? A phone... with a cord.

23. What color is your favorite pair of shoes? Red.

24. Do you use chap stick? Not ChapStik brand.

25. Whats your favorite thing to do in your free time? Sleep.

26. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru, always.

27. Do you have a dog? Yes.

28. Last guy you talked on the phone with? Lil' Brudder.

29. Last girl you talked on the phone with? Leslie.

30. Any fun vacation plans soon? Europe for my birthday!!! Whore Tour '09, baby!

31. Do you dye your hair? I have someone that does it for me.

32. Can you say the alphabet backwards? "The alphabet backwards."

33. Do you have a maid service clean your house? Yes

34. Are you jealous of anyone? Aren't we all?

35. Do you love anyone? Yes

36. Do any of your friends have children? Yes, a few.

37. Do you use the word "hello" daily? Nope.

38. Do you like cats? Piss off, cats!

39. Have you ever been to six flags? Yes, and it was lame.

40. How did you get your worst scar? Falling up the stairs in my Halloween costume 2007.

41. What is your favorite smell? Sexytime.

42. What is the last DVD you watched? Gossip Girl, Season 1, Disc 4.

43. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yes.

44. What is your favorite number? 17.

45. Do you toast your pop tarts? Toaster Strudel, all the way.

46. Have you ever waited tables? Plenty of them.

47. Where did you have your first kiss? Back seat of a two-door car.

48. What should you be doing right now? Helping my brother ring in his 21st birthday.

49. Do you enjoy wasting time blogging? Yes.

50. Who do you want to tag? Nobody. I blog because I feel like it, not because I want you to copy my shit.

Silly Survey

Your name:
Emily


Sometimes people call you:
Emms, Emmzo, Em, E, Emily Marie! (which is not my middle name, FYI), Sham-Sham, Donkeypuncher


You have been making the world more amazing since:
1985.


You made your debut in:
Boulder, Colorado


You are the oldest/youngest/or middle sibling:
Middle-ish. Two older-- one by seven years, the other by seventeen years-- and one two-and-a-half years younger.


Your favorite type of music:
I don't know anymore. How about rock/pop/punk/reggae/blues/electronic/indie/r&b/classical/vocal/hip-hop?


You sleep with this many pillows:
Seven. No joke. Two body pillows, a feather pillow, a standard pillow, a latex foam pillow, and two throw pillows that I made to match the curtains I sewed.


What you have the most of in your bedroom:
Probably clothes. I have lots of clothes, and they are quite noticeable right now, as most of them are in a giant heap on my second bed. Now, if the question was asking what takes up the most area in my room, I would say beds.


You have this many piercings:
I'm never sure if having your ears pierced counts as one piercing, or two. So, I have two if we go with the first option, or three if we go with the latter.


You have this many tattoos:
Zero.


This is your blog, how many people do you think read it:
Not many, but according to my stat counter, 28 in the last seven days. Impressive, since I haven't posted anything new in almost a month. Also, my stat counter says that someone in Louisiana comes here a lot. I don't know anyone in Louisiana. Who are you?


Something about your neighbor across the street:
I don't have a neighbor across the street. Instead I have a parking lot outside my bedroom window, and a river beyond the parking lot, and a busy street beyond the river. I do have upstairs neighbors who are quite noisy late at night. Good thing I don't usually sleep at night, so I don't get mad... I just steal their wireless instead.


Name an item you've kept since you were young:
I still have my blankie that my mom quilted for me before I was born. It stays on my bed at her house, though, so I don't know if that counts. On the shelf above my bed is the conch shell my grandma gave me when I was three.


You get your money from:
Well, I used to have a job, and I got my money that way, but then I went to Colorado for a while and got paid some money to be there. Now I think I am going back to Colorado to get some more money.


Your natural hair color is:
I'm not sure. I like it the way it is now, but I'll have to go back to my AMAZING hairstylist in Littleton to get it done again next month. That lady is a genius!


Name the bands you have band tees for:
Third Eye Blind (3), Jimmy Eat World (3), The Format (3), John Mayer, All-American Rejects, Shiny Toy Guns, U2, O.A.R., *NSYNC


Your nails are painted:
Fingernails? Never. Toes? Always.


How many pairs of sweatpants do you own?
Way too many to count. If I could get away with living in lounge wear, I would.


Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Oh, the joys of young lust.


You're on a beach... what do you draw in the sand?
My name in cursive.


Exes... friends or foes?
I'm not a huge fan of the dude, but who cares.


Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
I enjoy sleeping alone and I feel sorry for the next person to fall asleep with me... I've been told that I have sharp elbows. Also, I will kick you.


What was the weather like on your birthday?
On the actual day of my birth? I hear it was snowy that day. This year? Sunny.


What time is it, and why are you not doing something more productive with your time?
5:41 am, and I can't sleep.

Makes You Think

These questions were inspired by "Inside The Actors Studio". At the end of every interview, the host asks these same 10 questions to every guest. I actually like these questions. Here are my answers. Feel free to copy them to your blog to share your answers.

1. What is your favorite word?
It's a tie between 'lackadaisical' and 'vestibule'. I think both of those words are under-appreciated.

2. What is your least favorite word?
I would definitely say 'sebaceous'.

3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
The afternoon sun, and warm temperatures.

4. What turns you off?
Being talked down to.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The busy silence that is early morning deep in the Colorado mountains.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound that my compy makes when it is in the midst of a fit of narcolepsy.... it's a whining, wheezing, grindy beep. It sounds like it is in the throes of death by wood chipper.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
F*ck. That word is so versitile.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I was going to say something like, 'Hollywood star', but I don't think I'd end up liking that very much. I would, however, like to try being a personal assistant to one of those Hollywood people. Then, I could get all the perks, but not have to deal with the fallout of my personal life.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Fast food worker.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Psych!"

Questions on My Mind

? ~ what does it mean when someone says they are 'sort of dating someone'?

? ~ why can't i sleep like a normal person, instead of a zombie/hibernating bear/vampire?

? ~ why is it that Uggs are so fugly, yet they feel so good?

? ~ why am i not motivated to go back to school and do something with my life , like most other people my age?

? ~ how can i be so irresponsibly reckless, yet cautiously scared at the same time?

? ~ why do i say it's okay, when i'm still mad?

? ~ is there someone else who thinks as strangely as i do?

? ~ who said it was fashionable to wear skinny jeans, and can i strangle him?

? ~ how did i get this far in the world with the family i have?

? ~ why does no one in utah county know how to drive in a traffic circle?

? ~ why do i always fall for those who feel nothing for me?

All I ever get is sad love
feeling incomplete and below being loved
I don't know why it has been so hard to find love

Diminished Creativity