Questions on My Mind

? ~ what does it mean when someone says they are 'sort of dating someone'?

? ~ why can't i sleep like a normal person, instead of a zombie/hibernating bear/vampire?

? ~ why is it that Uggs are so fugly, yet they feel so good?

? ~ why am i not motivated to go back to school and do something with my life , like most other people my age?

? ~ how can i be so irresponsibly reckless, yet cautiously scared at the same time?

? ~ why do i say it's okay, when i'm still mad?

? ~ is there someone else who thinks as strangely as i do?

? ~ who said it was fashionable to wear skinny jeans, and can i strangle him?

? ~ how did i get this far in the world with the family i have?

? ~ why does no one in utah county know how to drive in a traffic circle?

? ~ why do i always fall for those who feel nothing for me?

All I ever get is sad love
feeling incomplete and below being loved
I don't know why it has been so hard to find love

It's The Truth, It's Factual...

~ I sleep with six pillows, three blankets, a monkey, and a giant down comforter. Most of the time, at least half of these items are covering my head and or face.

~ I have held at least a dozen jobs in my adult life. I don't get fired a lot... I just am never satisfied with work.

~ I get real mad if someone squeezes my toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

~ If I don't have a pet, I feel incomplete.

~ There are three songs on this planet that are guaranteed to make me cry from the moment I hear the first chord.

~ I have purchased a t-shirt at every concert I have ever been to.

~ I most definitely believe in feng shui.

~ I don't ever remember believing in Santa Claus.

~ I don't have many friends that are girls... guys are much easier to get along with.

~ About two years ago, pink became my favorite color. I do not remember making that decision, but I regret it now.

~ My rotten ex-boyfriend got me into the band that is now my all-time favorite on the planet, but unlike him, I find them impossible to replace.

~ I am challenged when it comes to being aware of my surroundings. Yesterday I fell up the stairs while carrying a plate of warm cookies. Later that night, I tripped over the dishwasher, and ran into the doorknob.

~ There are three flavors of gum that remind me of specific people immediately upon tasting them.

~ I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive!

About Me:

I still sleep with a blankie. I got straight A's in college, but I hate school. I think the blue M&M's taste better. I can easily sleep 14 hours a day if undisturbed. I hate showering. I make faces in the mirror almost every time I look at myself. I still have some of the cement on my teeth from when I had braces. I've been fired from 3 jobs. I tend to over-analyze things. I like peas. Sometimes I steal things. I have 9 decks of cards, but I only know how to play 2 card games. I am smarter than I let everyone believe. A lot of the time, I wish I had a different family. I hate making new friends. I take pills for a problem that I don't want to admit that I have. I make something up in every job interview. I swear... a lot... when I'm alone. I've never been on a date. Some of the best memories I have are of drunken nights. I wear pajamas out in public more than most people. I am an excellent liar. When I can't sleep, it's because I can't stop thinking. I can only snowboard heel-side. The last time I got a tooth pulled, I saved it, and now I keep it in my sock drawer. One time at summer camp, I threw up inside someone else's shoes in the middle of the night, and denied it. I am secretly afraid of heights. My mom left me at Denny's once on purpose when I was ten. I don't like chocolate and peanut butter mixed together. My favorite Christmas carol is O' Holy Night... but only the *NSYNC version. When I'm sick, I sleep in my bathrobe. I don't write on my calendars... I only have them because I like the pictures. I have a favorite pen. I like the taste of baby food. I am really good at listening to two conversations at the same time. I still wear one of my ex-boyfriend's t-shirts to sleep in... two years later. I clip coupons, but don't use them. Rocking babies to sleep is my favorite thing that I get paid to do. I hated my senior prom. I really like watching the History Channel. I can't drive without music playing. I learned to drive while barefoot, and I still don't like wearing shoes in the car. I am so very afraid of being alone.

Diminished Creativity

What If I Had No Friends

Nuts.... they suck!

The "Hard Things in Soft Things" Manifesto

Adapted from Cardhouse

I have a series of stringent rules involving the material composition of cakes, candies, and other dessert items. In the past, I have relied on a general rule, "No Hard Things In Soft Things," but it has come to my attention that there are exceptions. In an effort to quell public fear of the unknown, I am sharing the list with you, my friends. There are swear words in the manifesto, because of how important this is.

1) No Nuts In Cake. This is a simple rule, and is unbreakable. There is no present need for nuts in cake, and the taste sensation of biting into something hard while enjoying the smoothness of something velvety soft is something that everyone should be able to avoid with a minimum of fuss and outrage. There are cakes that have whole nuts in them, cakes that have broken nuts in them, and cakes that have ground nuts in them. These are all illegal cakes.

2) No Nuts On Cake. Again, the stress-resistance between the cake and the nuts is too great. There also is nothing visually pleasing about thinly-sliced almonds, for example; it appears as if someone has gone and dumped a crate of Lee Press-On Nails onto the top of the otherwise delicious confection. The usual configuration of nuts on cake consists of a thin layer of chopped nuts slathered on the side of the cake so it looks like gravel. This is easily scraped off onto the closest wall or dog.

3) No Nuts On Pie. I don't see this that much, but when I do, I take pause, gather my strength, and remove the offending nuts in question. Why, I ask an uncaring world. Why does everything have to have the goddamn nuts on?

4) No Nuts In Pie. Unlike nuts in cake, nuts in pie present a more complex dilemma. It is almost possible to remove all of the nuts in question in the first two categories of nuts-in-cake - the whole nuts, and the semi-nuts. But with pie, it is a different story. It's just not worth the effort. If there are nuts hiding in pie, you can bet I'll be somewhere else and I will leave no forwarding address for the odd pie chock full o' nuts.

5) No Nuts In Brownies. I cannot even begin to enumerate the experiences I've had encountering nuts in brownies. These are the nut-infested brownies that escape careful and prolonged visual inspection, usually with a layer of clear fluorescent-lit glass between my eyeballs and the object in question. I will always always follow up my examination with a question posed to the confectioner: "Are there nuts in the brownies?" I don't know why I bother, invariably the answer is "no" and invariably I've just purchased a fucking nut brownie. Now I'm starting to understand why people freak out over trivial things -- what you're seeing is a lifetime of disappointment and frustration finally breaking free and taking majestic flight.

6) No Nuts In Ice Cream. The ultimate soft confection, marred forevermore by the presence of nuts. It will not happen on my watch. It will not happen. Being resourceful, I can dig around the nuts like an inverse treasure hunt ("Rrrrrrrrra, seitam!") and be somewhat satisfied.

7) Nuts On Ice Cream - Okay, with restrictions. Here I am thinking of those nutty-buddy cones, with the sprinkling of ground cashews on top. Combined with the hard chocolate coating, the nuts please me. While on this topic, it seems important to mention that hard ice cream cones are okay. The ability to eat a food's own container trumps the hard-vs-soft problem by about fifty times, and the cone becomes softer, chronologically.

8) Yeah, nuts in cookies, another damned nut mystery to me. If you want nuts in anything, bring a small bag along with you and sprinkle 'em on, to avoid the heartbreaking scene of seeing yet another anti-nut coalition force troop member carefully picking apart his chocolaty chip cookie in a brave and yet neverending attempt to rout nuts and nut clusters from their fortified hiding encampments. Seriously, put the cookie in the microwave, and then jam your stupid nuts in.

9) Cereal is another food that seems to have been invaded by nuts. Wheat flakes, bits of fruit and almond slivers or walnut clusters or pecan chunks. Cereal should eventually end up slightly soggy in your milk. It should not end up as a bi-level conglomeration of slightly soggy stuff on top with hard nuts underneath. Fortunately, these types of cereals tend to be on the top shelves at your grocery store. So, if you're like me, your eyes need never see these offenses to nature if they never rise above the level of the Cocoa Puffs.

It's just that nuts are not a embellishment to anything else. They are a self-standing snack and should be left that way. It is not an advantage or plus to any dish to have to stop and chew up a hard, hidden intruder. I am still developing this list. There seems to be an infinite amount of foodstuffs to which one can add nuts.